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Sid Dajani shares entertaining moments from his practice

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Sid Dajani shares entertaining moments from his practice

Independent proprietor Sid Dajani learns about a new condition after he hears farmyard sounds in his pharmacy

I went to bed the other day a much wiser man than I had been that morning, and all because of zoanthropy. The experience began when a stranger walked in and immediately started making farmyard animal noises. Some of the staff thought this was funny, while others thought the man was directing insults at them. While waiting for his medication he continued snorting like a pig, braying, barking and mooing.

I could see from his medication that this gentleman had severe mental health issues, but I still went out and asked for a word in the consultation room. He carried on making noises and I asked him to explain his behaviour in English and not in Old MacDonald Farmyard Speak. When he started miaowing I felt like snarling back, but thought better of it. He gave me a card that said he was under psychiatric care for a mental disorder called zoanthropy in which one believed oneself to be an animal or animals depending on their mood.

I checked the literature and now I'm a zoanthropic expert. I was embarrassed beyond words or even noises. Now if we had access to patient records, his diagnosis would have made matters clearer and less awkward. Access would also have saved lots of time last month when a father asked for his daughter’s medicines by her maiden name even though it was dispensed in her married name. I'm convinced, despite some new risks, that access is progress.

I'm less optimistic, however, where progress is more elusive. So forgive me – I will be trading on your patience but I want to return to a story I have written about twice before. It's personal. Personal to me and very likely to become personal to you at some stage, and it's about Alliance Healthcare.

Trouble brewing

The more I deal with them, the more I'm convinced that, if they made beer, we'd all be stone cold sober! Readers will know about my angst when they charged me over £6,000 for fuel and low spend surcharges for items I shouldn't have had as a third- party account holder.

If these were ordered knowingly then I would be accountable, but these were received in error because the block was somehow removed. Monies refunded and blocks reinstated, I got a refund and I thanked Alliance.

If we had access to patient records, his diagnosiswould have made matters clearer and less awkward

Suddenly fuel surcharges started again, even though the blocks were in place. I get daily Alliance deliveries but they’re now refusing to refund these. We generally know which medicines are only obtained through Alliance but others are new and it's difficult to keep track. So when ordering electronically from our usual wholesaler we get messages back saying switched, delayed or MCS (manufacturer can’t supply).

The latter trigger a call for an update that we can relay to the patient or the GP for a substitution. Sometimes we're told they don't know and it could be an Alliance line. So we electronically place the order and if we get an MCS we phone them because sometimes MCS could mean either a block or they just don't have any in stock. We don't know either way, so we actively ask
the telesales team (and request names as an audit) because we presume they should know. We then order if it's allowed and don't know any different until we're charged.

Ask a sensible question ...

Alliance tells me, as unreal as it sounds, that "customer services cannot tell if a customer has a manual block or not". ‘Why?’ would be a sensible question. One of the largest wholesalers in the world doesn't apparently have the resources to align call handling systems with the ordering system that will tell its staff when items are not allowed, and they don't know the difference between a total block (when ordering online) and no block (when ordering over the phone). Stupid me...

Surely a block is impervious, regardless of the medium. What's even more surreal is knowing this flaw exists and doing nothing about it. "With regards to your first matter, unreal or not, unfortunately that is the case, and customer services cannot tell if a customer has a manual block or not."

So basically I'm simply told that's just the way it is, so pay up and shut up. Clearly Alliance would have us still living in caves, denying women votes, using children as chimney sweeps, kicking animals, carry an abacus around with us and thinking the world is flat. Why? Because that's the way it is! Clearly that's their answer to having a poor system despite the world around us moving on.

Technology allows us to answer calls from the other side of the world in seconds, we can see events unfold live pretty much anywhere, we carry computers in our top pockets, pharmacies will be accessing patient records, yet Alliance and its telesales team can't tell the difference between having a block and not having a block. Last month, I said warranted complaints weren't bad, they were an indicator of improvement before a real mess came along and that the real sin was the inaction following a complaint and here, on cue, is a perfect example.

Things change because it's about improving and getting better. AH don't care that we have a monopolistic system thrust upon us and care even less that it’s inefficient.

Riding two horses with one backside is a job for a circus clown, not me. I have better things to do with my time, such as patient care, which I keep hearing Alliance espousing, and yet the company is treating us all like clowns.

 

 

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